These are the moments that matter

Ciera and I started a bedtime ritual awhile back, actually I think we started when my dad died and she did not want to fall asleep alone, where I lie in bed with her for awhile after we turn out the lights. We have some wonderful quiet talks there in the dark and this is the time when Ciera tells me things that might not otherwise come out...things like someone who pushed her down that day, or some perceived injustice in her world, talk about the baby....it's typically a nice down time and one I hope we continue for years to come.

We've had a rough past 10 days, first Ciera was sick with strep and just as she got better I came down with it and yesterday was my dad's birthday (our first without him), so our bedtime downtime has been a bit rushed and a bit sad.

Last night as we lay there we talked about poppa, Ciera asked "was nana poppa's wife?" I answered "yes honey she was" then she asked "was poppa nana's......" and she hesitated to find a word, for some reason I stopped myself from providing the word husband and Ciera says "prince?"....with tears streaming down my face I said "yes honey I think he was". I thought afterwards that it was interesting, Ciera knows the term husband but she chose to use prince.....and I quite like it poppa was nana's prince....sweet.


Tonight as we relaxed Ciera said "mom, I love you", I replied "I love you too sweetie" then she said "when I grow up I want you to live with me so you won't be lonely and have no one to play with", I thanked her and told her that was very sweet of her. Then she told me she wanted to live in our house, and that she would love me forever, even if she was angry at me. I tell her that all the time so I know where that came from but still to hear it back made me smile.

Ciera then sat up in bed and said "I have something I want to say to poppa...Happy birthday poppa", then as I glanced at her I noticed she had clasped her hands in prayer and she continued "Poppa........ I didn't want for you to die, I wanted you to stay alive at Nana's house....I didn't want you to die, I hope Jesus is taking care of you" and with that she said "mom can I sleep on you?", with tears in my eyes I said yes and she lay on top of me and as I stroked her hair she fell asleep and as I lay there with my daughter asleep on me I thought "These are the moments that matter, these are the moments I want to remember".