I think I'm living with a 90 year old woman!!

Ciera does and says alot of things that make me think...how in the world does she know that? But tonight at dinner I darn near spat my food across the table in laughter.

Ciera has this REALLY annoying habit that I give her heck for all the time, and in fact told her yesterday the next time she did it she'd be on the stairs in a time out. Her habit? I say something and she replies "pardon?" (at least she is being polite!), I say it again and she replies "pardon?", I say "what did I just say Ciera?" and she repeats back to me whatever I had just said....so she's heard me and just chooses deliberatly to annoy me. She knows it does, I've told her so dozens of times.

So at dinner tonight, I said something to her and she said "Pardon?", I looked over at her with "that" look, and she...I kid you not.....leaned towards me, cupped her hand behind her ear and said "speak right into my ear".......I darn near choked, I tried to not let her see I was laughing but holy cow it was hard not to. Now where on earth would she have learned that one??!!!

Mothers Day

Ah Mothers Day......for so many years it made me cry, I'd read the cards in the store while buying one for my mom, I'd see familes going out, hear people talk about breakfasts in bed and the like and I'd cry....I wanted to be a mom. Four years ago I spent it with a picture (that I was not supposed to have!) of my daughter to be....I ached to hold her and that year I received my first Mothers Day cards....this time I also cried but for a different reason, I WAS going to be a mom, and I met Ciera several weeks later.

The first Mothers Day home was special, Ciera didn't have a clue but my sister made it special for me (thanks Linda!!). This year was the first year Ciera "got it", she was so sweet and so excited, they made cards and presents at daycare and she actually kept it a secret and did not tell me. She was so excited for me to open it this morning, it's a beaded bracelet and to me it's beautiful!!! And yes I cried again! Ciera was so excited about Mothers Day that she made me another card at home on Friday night, then she made a bookmark for Auntie Dada and a cross for nana.

I spent my mothers day with Ciera at ball hockey, we ran a couple of errands, went for a run, overseeded the front lawn and then headed out to nana's, where I vaccummed for nana and then we went out to dinner, my mom, my sister and her kids and Ciera and myself. In the grand scheme of things not an overly special day...but truth be told every day is special. I'm a mom, the one thing I always knew I wanted to be when I grow up!! Even better yet, I'm Ciera's mom...mama, mommy, mom...I'm called them all and I love hearing it....ok well not for the millionth time some days but you get the idea.

This day also makes me reflect on Ciera's birthmother. I know Mothers Day is a North American "thing", but last night I was thinking about Mothers Day and how really incredible adoption is. There is a birthmother who gives birth and then for whatever reason realizes she cannot raise a child, she makes a plan for her child and then she makes the most unselfish, and most likely the most heartbreaking, decision she will ever make.....to relinquish her child. As always when I think about Ciera's birthmother, I hope and pray that somehow someway she knows that her daughter is healthy and happy and so very much loved. I am so very grateful to her, it took incredible strength for her to relinquish her child, and I also hope and pray that she has found peace and that she is also happy and healthy and that she knows we love her.

I made a wish!!!!

A couple of weeks ago there was a beautiful moon outside and I made a comment about it, so of course Ciera had to see it, while we were looking at it I pointed out the first star and made an offhand statement about "wishing on a star", Ciera asked what I meant and I told her we can wish on a star to help make something come true. "Like Tiana?" (Princess and the Frog) she asked, "yes, like that" I answered. Ah if only life were truly so simple.

Ciera has been pretty quiet on the topic of "our baby" lately, her comments have slowed to a trickle....could be something to do with the fact that she had a birthday ten days ago (she's now 5, sheesh I can't remember the last time I was THAT excited about a birthday, she was beside herself with excitement!!!) and her birthday celebrations were spread out over those 10 days, banishing baby thoughts from her head. The last of those was her party yesterday with her friends at an indoor play place.

In any event we were sitting eating dinner last night and Ciera puts down her fork and out of the blue says "I wish our baby could come home" then she looks at me with that proud of herself look on her face and declares "I made a wish!!!!"

I wish so too little one.......I wish so too.